The moment my fishtail turned into a roll is when the peace began. Before that I simply remember talking to my friend Laura about why James was leaving for Seattle in the morning --even of my jealousy, because while we were baking, it was going to be a pleasant 70 degrees there. I went through the toll between Coit and Preston Road. I know you're probably thinking I shouldn't have been on the phone, but I am so glad I was. Before my fishtail, there was overcorrecting, and thats when I experienced fear and tunnel vision. Funny. Fear is tunnel vision. Laura, being my only friend from college, was able to contact James so he and my family could find me. I can't imagine being her and hearing that crash... she just shared with me how scared she was, because she had no idea I was driving, or even where I was.
It was a moment -- I'm sure it was only a matter of very loud, clanking moments, of metal scraping concrete, glass breaking, the unseeable grit and grime of highway dirt swarming like gold dust within the ever decreasing interior. Yes, the world was upside down and it seemingly lasted an Eternity. However, if that is what Eternity is like, I will surely take it, for there was peace there.
At some point during my second roll, I was so calm, I thought exactly this, "Huh, this is what its like for people on tv, on CSI." What a strange, abstract and meandering thought. Not, "Holy crap! I'm gonna die!" No, no, no, I was just strapped in my seatbelt, rolling in my car, feeling like I'm sitting on my couch observing my favorite T.V show, literally in action.
That is merely an infinitesimal descriptor of how much God loves me: He lovingly prepared me for utter destruction, for chaos, and introduced me to the peace only He can bring. Let me tell you, like Isaac in the previous post, I was pinned in the moment of my conversion and everyday since then has been hard. I have literally lost everything, and if I didn't lose it, I walked away from it. He prepared me for the chaos of transition, of my life being uprooted, and is preparing me in my current circumstances for all the stings being in ministry will bring. Most of this just hit me, today, months later. Quite honestly, I do not know if it ever would have -- if -- if the very day I started this project, I hadn't wrecked my brand new car again. That was the first time in 16 years of driving and a total of 3 accidents, that it was my fault. T-boned at 19 at Park and Preston (go figure), rolled my car at George Bush and Preston (uh huh) and now I hit two concrete poles at Park and Coit. Why? I wasn't paying attention, apparently.
When I landed after rolling, I landed right side up, under a bridge. See, if you're not from Texas, you may not know that July is a hot, miserable hell, particularly this summer, as it was our hottest in twenty years. This is a time I hibernate, going out only when I must and try to keep my home at 69 degrees, 72 tops. I hate the sun, I hate being outside when its hot.
But I landed safely on the shoulder of a major highway, under a bridge, feet from the concrete pillars that support it, in the shade. Catch that? The shade. Ask anyone who knows me, "Does Hollie get irritable when she's hot?" The look they'd give could paralyze.
He pays attention to the details quite simply because He made those details. Every last one of them.
That was the peace, the calm before the storm, if you will, the very eve of the end of the relationship with my Professor, the one who brought me to belief in Christ, beyond a shadow of a doubt. He was the means, the instrument God used the day He walked into my living room and opened James' mouth. But that is another story, for another day.
It was a moment -- I'm sure it was only a matter of very loud, clanking moments, of metal scraping concrete, glass breaking, the unseeable grit and grime of highway dirt swarming like gold dust within the ever decreasing interior. Yes, the world was upside down and it seemingly lasted an Eternity. However, if that is what Eternity is like, I will surely take it, for there was peace there.
At some point during my second roll, I was so calm, I thought exactly this, "Huh, this is what its like for people on tv, on CSI." What a strange, abstract and meandering thought. Not, "Holy crap! I'm gonna die!" No, no, no, I was just strapped in my seatbelt, rolling in my car, feeling like I'm sitting on my couch observing my favorite T.V show, literally in action.
That is merely an infinitesimal descriptor of how much God loves me: He lovingly prepared me for utter destruction, for chaos, and introduced me to the peace only He can bring. Let me tell you, like Isaac in the previous post, I was pinned in the moment of my conversion and everyday since then has been hard. I have literally lost everything, and if I didn't lose it, I walked away from it. He prepared me for the chaos of transition, of my life being uprooted, and is preparing me in my current circumstances for all the stings being in ministry will bring. Most of this just hit me, today, months later. Quite honestly, I do not know if it ever would have -- if -- if the very day I started this project, I hadn't wrecked my brand new car again. That was the first time in 16 years of driving and a total of 3 accidents, that it was my fault. T-boned at 19 at Park and Preston (go figure), rolled my car at George Bush and Preston (uh huh) and now I hit two concrete poles at Park and Coit. Why? I wasn't paying attention, apparently.
When I landed after rolling, I landed right side up, under a bridge. See, if you're not from Texas, you may not know that July is a hot, miserable hell, particularly this summer, as it was our hottest in twenty years. This is a time I hibernate, going out only when I must and try to keep my home at 69 degrees, 72 tops. I hate the sun, I hate being outside when its hot.
But I landed safely on the shoulder of a major highway, under a bridge, feet from the concrete pillars that support it, in the shade. Catch that? The shade. Ask anyone who knows me, "Does Hollie get irritable when she's hot?" The look they'd give could paralyze.
He pays attention to the details quite simply because He made those details. Every last one of them.
That was the peace, the calm before the storm, if you will, the very eve of the end of the relationship with my Professor, the one who brought me to belief in Christ, beyond a shadow of a doubt. He was the means, the instrument God used the day He walked into my living room and opened James' mouth. But that is another story, for another day.
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