Amazing: Putting Music to Order

PLEASE PARDON THE WHITE.  I DON'T KNOW WHY ITS THERE, WHY I CANT GET IT TO GO AWAY NO MATTER WHAT I DO, WHY the FORMATTING IS ALL WONKY, WHY BLOGGER IS MESSED UP.  ANYONE KNOW CODE??  PLEASE READ DESPITE THE WHITE I WILL GET IT FIXED ASAP

I leave for Re:Train on Sunday afternoon for the first week of training. I know many may think, “Oh, it’s just school, no big deal,” but really it is, because this is a huge and exciting risk that on my own, I could never do. I think many of you can identify with this, because we all experience it.

My hope is that in sharing my need and this video, you will be encouraged, in whatever you too are going through, facing, dealing with, or even trying to let go of, and just let God do.

You see, I have more needs than anything right now. I won’t go into them here, but if you feel led, message me. The only certainty there is, is Re:train. I go joyfully, knowing in this season of waiting and pruning, he is putting something together I cannot even dream of, but know like I know I must be obedient to.

In preparing to go and coming to terms with the fact I have absolutely nothing, and that I may very well be called to Seattle to stay, not knowing how to do that, not having any money, not knowing anyone, as well as sifting through not knowing where to apply for a job because I honestly dont know where I will live, its scary, especially as a single mom. Either city… wherever he wants me is where I will go. He’s got this, and he’s got me.

 In preparing for Re:Train, I am reading Disciple: Getting your identity from Jesus by Bill Clem. This past week I was blessed beyond measure to be at Family Camp with the Village church, and when I wasn't being stretched emotionally or physically by just being in nature (something this gal doesn't do well, but is open to try), I was being stretched theologically. I was not at church this Sunday, so eagerly I looked for the podcast, and when I saw the very title, “Disciple: Who am I?” I cried. That is a Godwink. I am headed in the right direction, despite my circumstances. How do I know that? Bill Clem's book and the fact Matt apparently wasn't teaching this Sunday, so each campus pastor preached his own sermon...and they are put online alternately on the Village's main page, and that is the one that was up when I went to the page to search for the week's sermon. Good news? This week there's not one, but three sermons. :)

When I heard the podcast, I was in tears because I was still chewing on something I read concerning how pride can cloud worship

"God measures meaning by a humble heart willing to achieve or leave the biggest deal on the table for the love of Jesus. Anything else is an idol." -Bill Clem, Disciple pg 113

You see, I’ve spent ten years trying to get back to Italy. Italy was put on the table for this summer. As a matter of fact, I was supposed to be there now for a two month vision trip. It was put on hold, and I remember not being angry, which shocked me. I just knew the Lord had something else for me first. I wasn’ t old “No,” I was told “Not yet.” That “Not yet” is a blessing.


Enter Re:Train. Tution has been gifted. First plane ticket blessed to me by a nonbeliever (how awesome is that?). A community group at Mars Hill I’ve never met may have a family for us to live with throughout Re:Train. I’ve been introduced to a church planting team up there. I don’t know – we shall have to see. Faith is whats unseen, yes? All kinds of things are being orchestrated around this. All I can think of is James 1:2.


-Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If I must go to Seattle empty handed because that"s where he wants me, then so be it, amen?

I realized my ‘wanting to know’ is my pride, and it drives fear, and so I found myself getting all frazzled about all this, trying to survive the in between, getting my electricity and rent paid, to plan, to order the events as I saw they needed to go, etc. We all do, forgetting the fact that there are numerous evidences of Gods grace behind me, molding and crafting me, and those around me for the past year.


I've also had to search for some articles on the Resurgence. In searching that, I became aware of the conference coming in October, and Lecrae is going to be there. I've known who he is, but on the Resurgence, they posted something about his new single, and thus began a rabbit trail that is speaking to me profoundly...through rap and hip hop...and if you know me, your eyebrows just raised and you gasped in response, "What?" 

Just listen. So brilliant and powerfully wonderful, whatever your cultural context. Not only have the words spoken to me, but so has the music, how it all can fit together. It has reminded me of my situation, of my story, how he runs at the end, even the phone call in the phonebooth. Then it reminded me of my girls, their lives, their stories, and in this rabbit trail of songs, coming to know the world of Christian Hip Hop and Rap, I heard a song that just felt like it assaulted me, speaking directly to my girls and affirming what I already know to do but am scared to do.   

And that is to quit makeup. To quit the club. This weekend.

 that . was. hard. to. write.  

Not because of them or what they do, or that it is sinful -- it's just where they are, and where I was, per Acts 17 and Isaiah 23:17-19 she will return to her wages and will prostitute herself with all the kingdoms of the world on the face of the earth. Her merchandise and her wages will be holy to the Lord. It will not be stored or hoarded, but her merchandise will supply abundant food and fine clothing for those who dwell before the Lord.  

 

Abundance is not happening for me here, as you can see, and I haven't had enough cash to even buy supplies. Jesus told Peter it was time to go, and it seems, after a year of waiting, it's time for me to go. But I have been blessed in these hard times to simply see God at work. Seeds have been planted. There doesn't seem to be more for me to do there but show these girls the strength Christ can be when you face the fear and trust him. See, I'm enslaved to the clubs like they are -- it's guaranteed money -- but God.   

And that message just decended upon me as I drove through downtown Plano, listening to Lecrae radio on Pandora and this song came on. Not only that, this video will expose some hypocrisy and prejudice among Christians, as it did, even for me, very much to my surprise, particularly from one who was judged so harshly at one time for being so "different."     

Just this week I was discussing an opportunity coming up with a mentor/colleague of mine and in that I happened upon his Facebook page. I came across this video Jeremy’s page. I almost gave up on it, as he warned his readers not to do. The entire story I just told you, the reason behind why all of a sudden I am listening to and in awe of the beats and music in the least expected genre of Hip Hop and Rap music became clear. If you are into music, if you are into science - whether or not you are into Jesus - man! I am so glad I didn't give up in watching this video and I'm so thankful God is sovereign enough to have had my eyes look upon it and spur on this blogpost. It worth every single one of the ten minutes it takes to hear it. 

 

It reminded me of just who came up with putting things in order. In the end, I just had to thank the Lord for giving this vision, and hearing things this way, to this man. It also reminded me not to diminish the ideas, thought processes or gifts I’ve been given, no matter how absurd they seem in the beginning…bc that video seemed to drag a little, was a little ‘out there’ but man… in the end…  



 Talk about being in awe and just the absolute majesty of our creator God…how could I possibly doubt his goodness, craftiness, and just sheer ability to do anything, bring anything, anyone, and circumstance or much needed funds to fruition, in his timing, in his will, all for his glory…particularly amidst my piddly circumstances?    Hearing this has just…wow. Remembering work is worship, school is worship, risk in whatever we do..even having the idea to put this video together. or sharing our stories…is worship because it beautifully displays trust. I hope you are encouraged. So incredibly powerful.  


If you feel led to see how you can participate in what the Lord is doing in this, in any way, please visit and share  www.gofundme.com/retrain.    Please bathe this is prayer or give. $10, $20, $50, $100, or $1000...it all matters, it all counts, and is all very much needed and welcomed.